Self-aware vs Present-aware

Being self-aware has not always been productive for me, and has kept me stuck in my head, anxious, intellectualizing, dissociating and ruminating. It has definitely not lead me to regulation and connection. I guess it is like learning all the theory on how to solve a problem, only to feel completely overwhelmed and underprepared when you actually face the problem.

Being present is a different kind of awareness –where I am in tune with my body, my needs, my emotions, my thoughts, how I interact with the world, my environment, other people, and the relationship between all these different things. This is way more productive I find, and leads to connection through development of skill rather than just theory. Thinking and processing is still part of the picture but the picture is more wholesome as it integrates the whole body and how I show up in the world around me. This has allowed me to heal through experience rather than just trying to figure everything out in my mind.