Listening Beneath The Story
The body doesn’t ask to be fixed, only to be felt.
As I reflect on this year, one learning really stands out, not just for my own life, but as a coach.
2025 was a year for listening beneath the story.
So often when something feels hard, we go straight to the story – trying to understand it, explain it, or figure out what to do next. Can you relate to those exhausting spirals of NET (nervous emotional turmoil)?
But there’s another way of listening. One that doesn’t replace the story, but gently expands the space we’re listening from. A more honest and regulating way. It is when we invite our attention to how the experience is felt in the body. Nothing needs to be pushed away or replaced. As we widen our listening to include sensation, something inside us naturally begins to slow. We start to access a deeper wisdom... one rooted in intuition, surrender, and self-trust rather than effort or control.
Two gentle questions can guide this shift: How do I feel? and What do I want? When asked from the mind, these questions can easily turn into stories. But when asked from the body, they open a doorway.
How do I feel? might sound simple, yet when we stay out of the narrative, it often brings us beneath familiar nervous system patterns and protective responses. What we find there is usually a more tender layer simply wanting to be seen.
For example, you might start with: “I feel upset because my partner didn’t respond the way I hoped.”
That is the story.
When we take the time to sense underneath it, something else may reveal itself… perhaps fear, experienced as tightness, heaviness, shakiness, or a subtle ache. Nothing needs to be solved here. We can gently witness what’s present and support the body in processing what it’s holding. As the sensation is allowed to move and soften, the intensity often shifts on its own… outside logic, analysis, or old mental loops.
Then we can ask:
What do I want to feel?
Rather than orienting toward an outcome or someone else’s behavior, we listen for the felt sense we’re longing for. “I want my partner to reassure me” might soften into “I want to feel secure.”
Naming the felt sense, creates a subtle but power shift. We move away from managing the relationship and back into connection with ourselves. From here, intuition has room to guide us towards meeting that need. We can explore what it looks and feels like to offer ourselves that sense of security. And importantly, this doesn’t depend on anyone else changing.
As we learn to meet ourselves in this way, our capacity grows. We become less dependent on others to regulate our inner world and more available for real connection. From this embodied place, we bring presence and care into our relationships—not as a demand, but as an offering. Over time, the body becomes an ally. And life begins to feel more inhabitable from the inside.
If you want some tailored support on listening beneath the story, I’d be honored to do a session with you.