Connection?

When I was deep in overwhelm and survival mode living with chronic illness, chronic pain, rage, abandonment wounds, and a deep sense of shame, I could not see my way out of the turmoil. I was fighting with my husband almost every day, yelling at my kids, grasping at anything I could to gain control of what felt like an endless spiral, trying desperately to fix the brokenness I felt inside.

My coping mechanisms were piled high, dissociation being the most worn, alongside spiritual bypassing* and blame. The shame I carried internally spilled out through every effort to make my life different, right, or not broken.

Despite my determination to keep going, keep trying, and keep working it out, I eventually went numb and depression set in. I felt defeated by life and, at times, didn’t want to be here anymore. Nothing I had tried truly worked. There were small breakthroughs here and there, but everything seemed to snap back into familiar patterns I couldn’t escape.

Then I went through something that would shift the trajectory of my life forever.

In the grief of that season, I chose, perhaps for the first time, to really look in the mirror and face what I had been avoiding. As I wrestled with what I was seeing, instead of lashing out or dissociating, I began to put down my weapons and stay with myself. I now understand this not as strength or willpower, but as the beginning of safety. That willingness to remain present with accountability and vulnerability led me to the skills and methods that would transform my life.

I already knew about connection and how powerful it could be. Years earlier, a parenting course had opened my eyes to the revolutionary nature of connection-based work. It was counter-cultural and deeply uncomfortable, yet something in me knew it was the orientation I wanted to live from. Still, I struggled to stay consistent with the skills I had learned, especially under stress, and the shame only grew.

But as I began developing a new relationship with myself –one rooted in honesty rather than self-abandonment– I encountered a resource that felt different. This time, the work was in the context of marriage, but with a radically fresh approach. It taught me how to orient toward connection without trying to fix my relationship or control the outcome. Instead, I learned how to stay connected within myself. That shift changed everything.

What followed was a journey both humbling and deeply empowering. For the first time, I was given the tools to look inward with sobering awareness and compassion. The process of change no longer relied on force or behavior management, but on understanding, safety, and capacity.

Rather than viewing myself through a critical or harsh lens hyper-focused on behavior and outcomes, I began to see myself with compassion. I started recognizing needs that had gone unmet for years. I learned to own every part of my story, especially the messy parts, because they became essential gateways to understanding what I needed and how I could care for myself differently.

Over time, as I continued building on what I was learning, I realized I had developed my own process… one rooted in connection, nervous-system awareness, and embodied healing. I no longer felt the need to bury my brokenness or force myself into change. Instead, I felt empowered to cultivate the life and relationships I longed for, from the inside out.

This road was incredibly hard, especially in the early years. I felt raw, exposed, and deeply vulnerable. But as I continued to trust the process, something shifted. I began to feel whole–perhaps for the first time in my life. I was learning how to love myself into healing and to rebuild my sense of self, worth, and relationship from the ground up, without manipulation, control, striving, or forced behavior.

The fruit of this healing is difficult to put into words. My marriage, my parenting, my relationships, and the way I move through the world have been profoundly transformed. I am no longer living in constant survival mode. The safety, joy, playfulness, security, and ease I now experience in my body, with my husband, as a mother, and beyond –more often than not*– feel priceless and worth every step of the journey.

This is why I am a relationship and wholeness coach for women, and why I am building my Choose Connection online course. I felt called to gather the skills, practices, and learnings I had integrated over years of lived experience into trauma-informed, connection-centered pathways for healing. I don’t want any woman to walk this road alone.

What was forged in the fire, I now offer as a steady passage toward relational wholeness… beginning with the relationship to self.

You can explore the pathways I offer toward connection below.

I hope you find what you are looking for.