Resilience

Over-activation is a sign of compensation, not failure.

I’m learning that resilience isn’t about pushing through, overriding discomfort, or fixing the parts of us we struggle with. It’s about building capacity to meet what’s here with compassion, curiosity, and honesty. This looks like resourcing ourselves well enough that change can happen without force.

I often think of resilience like going to the gym and realizing that a certain muscle group has been over-activated. It’s been working incredibly hard to keep things moving and functioning, compensating for an underlying imbalance. To correct this, we don’t shame those muscles, cut them out, or try to turn them off. They’re doing their job. Instead, we cultivate safety by gently working with the weaker or shut-down muscle groups… strengthening them, activating them, and bringing them back online. As balance is restored, the overworked muscles are finally able to soften and rest.

This is how resilience is built in the body and nervous system too. When we support the parts of us that went quiet, learned to freeze, or stopped receiving care, the parts that have been over-functioning no longer have to work so hard. Capacity expands. Choice returns. Peace emerges not through force, but through balance.

From here, resilience becomes lived. As we learn to recognize our patterns of over-activation and shutdown, we gain the ability to pause, choose, and mindfully engage (with ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us) in ways that are more sustainable, resourced, and aligned with who we truly are.