Empowered

“Skills without self-ownership can’t hold through life’s detours.”

Diving into new relational skills was such an empowering journey. At first, it felt like I could finally solve all my problems and reach the outcomes I had been striving so hard for. To repair my marriage and to tend to what felt broken in me. In the beginning, it all felt so revolutionary and genuine. I got quick results, and through hard work and a tender, uncomfortable surrender, I experienced real transformation in my marriage. I even felt healed from insecurities that used to plague me. It was life-changing.

Then the nuance found me and disrupted things. I realized that, despite initial success, the changes weren’t sticking in a lasting, meaningful way. I struggled to stay consistent when life threw unexpected detours our way… detours that brought grief and, ultimately, nervous system shutdown.

It was in that place of uncertainty and despair that I learned something crucial: I could not do this work to fix everything or control the outcome. I needed to do it fully, truly, and deeply for a different reason. I needed to come back to me; not to change my husband or force anything in my marriage, but to embrace and empower myself. In that clarity, I saw how I had been using this path as yet another tool to try to control what I could not control. Letting go of that need for control allowed me to do the work for me, not for my husband, not for my kids, not for anyone else. Simply for me.

This was the beginning of owning what is mine to own; finding the boundaries of self and listening to the language of my body. At first, it was overwhelming. There were things that were uncomfortable to be with when I began coming back to myself. But as I continued, my grace grew, and my relationship to myself became more true, grounded, beautiful, and secure. It was a stark contrast to how I had been living… outsourcing my sense of self, searching for validation everywhere but inside.

Worrying about what others’ think, trying to manage their perceptions or emotions isn’t empowering. Most of the time, it’s a fear response masquerading as care or productivity. It drains energy, fragments attention, and keeps us small.

Being present with me, on the other hand, is profoundly different. It’s powerful. It’s where I reclaim my agency, my creativity, and my joy. When I live from this place, everything I do (my work, my relationships, my self-care) comes from alignment rather than obligation.

There’s nothing more liberating than feeling aligned and connected to yourself. In my body, that feels like steadiness. Like choice. Like coming home.

What becomes possible when you let this work be for you?