Align

I'm ready, like the light before dawn, to paint the skies with a golden murmur
Ready, like the moon's dance with the tide, before the waves lick the shore
Ready to fall into rhythm, with the music I've heard all my life
But, as though a thick pane of glass has blurred its beauty, I have not tasted its relentless melody until now, this shattering clarity, It defines my every step
I'm ready to lay down excuses, distractions and closed fists
To plow vulnerability, sacrifice and therefore power
I'm ready to regain my power through love's simple routine
An odd routine to most
A routine woven from wisdom's very breath
A wisdom not from intellect or education
But from the stuff of stars
A sound mind, a sound mind, love, power and a sound mind

I'm ready to align

Drained

Like rain, energy too finds a way to settle in pools of like-mindedness or trickle down and drain away. Despite what we've been told, it is not things or people that cause energy to dwindle. I believe that in every situation, we have the capacity, the power, the insight to stay filled and settled. However, this is only possible if we first understand what actually drains us. 

No it is not people, bosses, work, situations, stress. No it is not conversations, politically correct dances, information consumption or download. No it is none of these things. What drains us is actually our own doing. Attitudes of discontent, ungratefulness, unforgiveness, feelings gone un processed for too long that have turned into bitterness and resentment. These are the sly and stealthy things that zap us of our energy under our very noses.

We need to use energy to conserve it, to settle it, to posses it. We need to work hard at keeping our sub conscious mind free of entanglements of grievances. This work is so very crucial to then being filled up and at peace. We need to understand our boundaries and make sure we respect them with our attitudes and sub conscious mind.

I used to think, because I am an introvert, that people drain me. I have discovered that I hold the power to my own energy levels. I have sacred ground that needs to be protected and filled with good things; seed that will bare good fruit. It is only my responsibility, to stay filled, tend to my soil, keep my mind sharp and sound, and in return remain content and satisfied rather than feel drained and haggered.

Be Still

The cross is enough
The work has been done
Yet it is hard to resolve

My condition in flesh
So bound to limits
Unlike mind and soul

When all else fails
Just stand and know
I am God

The cross is enough
Even through the tears
It is well with my soul

Diamond Emotions

Emotions are like diamonds. They need time to be processed, under pressure, in the secret place. They need time and attention to find their way from dusty, dull rock, to sparkling, light-filled, multi-faceted jewel. The quality of your process will determine the clarity of the sparkly stone that you now hold in your hand like a weapon against the myths of a worthless identity. Oh the insight and the strength that is birthed out of that process.

This fast-paced world of image management, empires of likes and follows; the crazy way this world tends to forget the charming marinade, the slow and steady respect of each season, each moment; our emotions get tangled up in bottles and bombs.

We are a generation of experts in escapism and numbing out. The present is so far from our reach yet is the deepest desire of our hearts -- it dances in front of our eyes like stars we can't count.

We can take back our moment in the present, by enduring the process.

A thorn is not a sign of failure, or even fear. It is a sign that you are alive and moving against the normal. It is a sign that you are capable, and resistance is coming to build you up, strengthen your chances to rise and dance above the waves. The thorn is best treated like a friend, who can usher you forward, and the pain that comes with that, the piercing of our skin against the thorn is a sign that our hard work, our perseverance and our tears, our sweat, our voice is worth the effort. Those scars will tell magnificent stories for generations to come; our skin, a spiritual tapestry of bumps and blemishes that redefine beauty and weave a new kind of narrative in the heavens.

Create Love

Recognition is not always a bouquet of sweet smelling roses. It has its thorns too, and needs to be handled with care. The desire for recognition can be a slippery slop to emptiness and hope deferred. The desire to be fulfilled by people's recognition is like a one way street to a dark place within ourselves, where jealousy and envy, comparison and worthlessness can breed easily within our fibres.

I have the ability to create, to organise, to make, to plan, to give of my time. My home requires all of these skills. Yet everyday I feel sad because I am not being recognised. I am juggling hats, spinning plates, creating a safe place for my children to play, creating joy and love and peace and passion and fire and wholeness, for my home, my tribe. Yet I feel like I am not amounting to much because I lack recognition.

Homes are broken, because people are trying to find that recognition. If we look at what we achieve with each other, relationships, the home, our families, our friends, our children, we are actually creating marvellous, wondrous beauty. But we have been trained to desire recognition, so therefore we think these things are not as worth our time as the career goal, the boss' tick of approval, the Instagram likes and comments.

When all else fades, what will remain?

Perhaps we need to put the cravings for recognition aside. Perhaps we need to open our minds and our hearts, bring things back to basics. Remember the love we hold in our hands every time we pour ourselves into our children. Remember the power we have in those moments. Remember we are creating something words can't even articulate when we love, give, wash their clothes, fill them with wholesome food. Remember the small, mediocre tasks that fill up just one day, and then how that day is on repeat, and the world keeps spinning because we fulfil those small tasks, and keep our babes safe, keep our loved ones warm and filled with joy, with hope.

Our homes can be happier, restored, renewed in the wake of an addiction to recognition gone cold.


Let this also be a gentle reminder to not take loved ones for granted. Tell your family and friends they are doing a good job, give people encouragement even for the small wins. This is a beautiful way to keep our relationships feeling healthy and whole.

You could be staring at the ugliest, darkest, thundering and most overwhelming reality. But nothing compares to Him. Nothing stands in His way. Nothing can stop His love rushing in, His promise prevailing, His grace renewing and His faithfulness restoring. There is nothing too broken, too far gone for Him. No weapon formed against us shall prosper.

Abraham would have had to silence the incredible and undeniable influx and overwhelming rush of doubt that filled his mind as he placed Isaac on the altar. Imagine the thoughts - how can this be? How can God ask this of me? But if he didn't silence those thoughts and trust -- listening, waiting, ready -- he wouldn't have heard the voice of God say stop as his hand was raised ready to sacrifice his only son.

His thoughts are so much higher than our own! When we try and figure it out it just doesn't work and we wind up confused. But when we surrender we find revelation and the truth sets us free. How could you ever resolve in your own mind what God was wanting from you in that moment be you Abraham? There is a reason why we do not rest or trust in our own understanding.

The things God gives us are beautiful and they truly fill our hearts with such love but they can never be greater than our trust in and obedience to God. His love is the only love that truly fulfils us and we catch glimpses of it in the beautiful things He gives us. But complete trust is being able to let that all go before Him. Surrender it and only do what we hear the Holy Spirit tell us to do. Such discipline, a blind faith but redemption, healing and freedom is in that place on the altar.

Good, Better, Best

I said to myself the other day, "I am no better than she," and then something in me sort of piped up saying "but you are more aware right, you work hard on this and that." I had to stop myself from going down the path that is comparison. Because it is in our nature to do so. We so badly want to feel like we measure up somehow and the easiest (cheapest) way to do this is to find someone whom we feel does less of a job than us, or is less of a person, and pity them, to feel some sense of achievement or worth.

The journey I am on at the moment is recognising that worth is actually a birthright and everyone is born with worth woven into their being. But culture, upbringing, abuse, trauma, and other life experiences tend to hard wire our brain into believing otherwise; Worth is a game we must win, or a measurement we must achieve. This is far from the truth.

Therefore our efforts in comparing ourselves or pitying others, placing ourselves on a higher shelf in order to "achieve" worth is mute.

I tend to focus on the reverse side of comparison, where we compare and then feel like the lesser one, but comparison to feel greater than is just as dangerous. We must not render void other people's journeys, their pain, their experiences, their perspective, because we are trying to earn our own worth. We must stand in our own sacred ground, and let other's stand in theirs.

This conversation I was having with my thoughts led me to the bible verse Matthew 7:3-5 "And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."

How can we for a second think that we have it all together and we deserve a higher status than someone else, that allows us to criticise or judge? Even if we have learned a lesson in an area of struggle for someone else, how are we to know the lessons learned are relevant for someone else? We then face the threat of rendering our own experience and pain obsolete because we generalise it and undo its depth in light of trying to solve everyone else's problems. 

How can we for a second think that our togetherness is worth more than someone's brokenness?

The truth is we all have brokenness (no matter how many lessons have been learned), the sort of evolving brokenness that never goes away. It is beautiful and keeps us searching, reaching. The lessons learned in that ever evolving broken journey are never to be used as trophies to deem us more points than someone else. Because someone's lane, their story, their journey is exactly as it needs to be and stands in its own right as a complete-but-never-finished, incomparable, multi-faceted and intricately personal story.

My togetherness in one area is just that. A beautiful evolution of brokenness to light-filled healing. Pride will undo all that hard work in a second. My brokenness in another area is someone else's light-filled healing. And when my brokenness meats someone else's light-filled healing in a genuine connection, that is a beautiful moment. But when we force it or use it as a means to gain something for ourselves, it isn't beautiful but rather condemning and judgemental. Humility is key in sharing stories of pain and allowing those stories to do some healing where needed. Comparison will jeopardise this beautiful transaction every time.

I never want to assume I know better, or I am better off than someone else. Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall."

Xx

Sacred Ground

Did you know that comparison is irrelevant when it comes to your worth or identity! It is a man-made measure that does not come from creation or the creator. It does not exist in creation anywhere - each species knows the deal, they live the way they are designed to live, standing uncontested. When I look at creation I think endless details that are so intricate, so mind-blowing, so creative, and so astonishing, to compare a star to a moon, or a goat to a pig seems beyond ridiculous. Because each species, each creation stands unrivalled, in its own beauty.

Humans are different again. We have souls and the ability to take dominion over the earth and all the other species. And while humans are grouped as one species, we are set apart from other species because each soul is so very unique and woven with free will - making everyone incredible individual. Each person therefore also stands beyond compare. We are actually more beautiful and unique than anything you could encounter in creation.

 
Do not shrink. Do not puff up. Stand my sacred ground.

Brené Brown's Authenticity Mantra.

 

So don't for a second shrink back, denying yourself the beauty of being sacredly you. But we can't afford to puff up either, shadowing the other beautiful lights around us. Who are we to compare, gloat, boast, and drive other's down? We need to each show up and let our lights be seen. We need to let the light of other's shine along side us. And if one is brighter than ours, we can't be threatened, for this is a waste of our time. Comparison is irrelevant. Yes there will be brighter lights, duller lights, all sorts of lights. Don't forget the journey we are all on - each so different and unique. Let the space between you now, and what you are working towards inspire you, not intimidate you. Let your journey be valid and true, rather than insignificant in a moment of comparison.

Far & Wide

Far and wide He searches for those who will rejoice before the storm is over, for those who will see His glory before the clouds part. Far and wide He searches for those who will dance in worship despite the bloody battle, despite the wretched wounds and scars, the debilitating trudge through the thick muddy trenches; a blind trust. It is in this sweet reunion between a soul and His will where He is moved by faith, -life or death balances on nothing but the faith of those who surrender- He does the impossible, brings deep beauty and purpose from the fault line... and then we await for time, physics and space to catch up.