Recognition is not always a bouquet of sweet smelling roses. It has its thorns too, and needs to be handled with care. The desire for recognition can be a slippery slop to emptiness and hope deferred. The desire to be fulfilled by people's recognition is like a one way street to a dark place within ourselves, where jealousy and envy, comparison and worthlessness can breed easily within our fibres.
I have the ability to create, to organise, to make, to plan, to give of my time. My home requires all of these skills. Yet everyday I feel sad because I am not being recognised. I am juggling hats, spinning plates, creating a safe place for my children to play, creating joy and love and peace and passion and fire and wholeness, for my home, my tribe. Yet I feel like I am not amounting to much because I lack recognition.
Homes are broken, because people are trying to find that recognition. If we look at what we achieve with each other, relationships, the home, our families, our friends, our children, we are actually creating marvellous, wondrous beauty. But we have been trained to desire recognition, so therefore we think these things are not as worth our time as the career goal, the boss' tick of approval, the Instagram likes and comments.
When all else fades, what will remain?
Perhaps we need to put the cravings for recognition aside. Perhaps we need to open our minds and our hearts, bring things back to basics. Remember the love we hold in our hands every time we pour ourselves into our children. Remember the power we have in those moments. Remember we are creating something words can't even articulate when we love, give, wash their clothes, fill them with wholesome food. Remember the small, mediocre tasks that fill up just one day, and then how that day is on repeat, and the world keeps spinning because we fulfil those small tasks, and keep our babes safe, keep our loved ones warm and filled with joy, with hope.
Our homes can be happier, restored, renewed in the wake of an addiction to recognition gone cold.
Let this also be a gentle reminder to not take loved ones for granted. Tell your family and friends they are doing a good job, give people encouragement even for the small wins. This is a beautiful way to keep our relationships feeling healthy and whole.