Align

I'm ready, like the light before dawn, to paint the skies with a golden murmur
Ready, like the moon's dance with the tide, before the waves lick the shore
Ready to fall into rhythm, with the music I've heard all my life
But, as though a thick pane of glass has blurred its beauty, I have not tasted its relentless melody until now, this shattering clarity, It defines my every step
I'm ready to lay down excuses, distractions and closed fists
To plow vulnerability, sacrifice and therefore power
I'm ready to regain my power through love's simple routine
An odd routine to most
A routine woven from wisdom's very breath
A wisdom not from intellect or education
But from the stuff of stars
A sound mind, a sound mind, love, power and a sound mind

I'm ready to align

Drained

Like rain, energy too finds a way to settle in pools of like-mindedness or trickle down and drain away. Despite what we've been told, it is not things or people that cause energy to dwindle. I believe that in every situation, we have the capacity, the power, the insight to stay filled and settled. However, this is only possible if we first understand what actually drains us. 

No it is not people, bosses, work, situations, stress. No it is not conversations, politically correct dances, information consumption or download. No it is none of these things. What drains us is actually our own doing. Attitudes of discontent, ungratefulness, unforgiveness, feelings gone un processed for too long that have turned into bitterness and resentment. These are the sly and stealthy things that zap us of our energy under our very noses.

We need to use energy to conserve it, to settle it, to posses it. We need to work hard at keeping our sub conscious mind free of entanglements of grievances. This work is so very crucial to then being filled up and at peace. We need to understand our boundaries and make sure we respect them with our attitudes and sub conscious mind.

I used to think, because I am an introvert, that people drain me. I have discovered that I hold the power to my own energy levels. I have sacred ground that needs to be protected and filled with good things; seed that will bare good fruit. It is only my responsibility, to stay filled, tend to my soil, keep my mind sharp and sound, and in return remain content and satisfied rather than feel drained and haggered.

Empty Gaze

When emptiness grows a garden in your soul,
Your faults, like tree roots tangled in dry soil.
What is left to do, but tend to broken bone?
Hope for tomorrow, lost in dead seeds sewn.

You are built for greatness, a foreign voice calls,
What does that mean? My thoughts, trapped in these walls.
Unheard and glazed over, sugar coated, waisted pain,
Expectations feel wildly wrong, flooding down river drains.

Where's the space, where can I breathe fresh air?
Where is relief? How can I climb up from this despair?
Piles of rain soaked sharades, mountains of thunder,
An empty gaze, tired from a battle once filled with wonder.

Be Still

The cross is enough
The work has been done
Yet it is hard to resolve

My condition in flesh
So bound to limits
Unlike mind and soul

When all else fails
Just stand and know
I am God

The cross is enough
Even through the tears
It is well with my soul

Voice

My voice isn't pretty
Nor does it sound sweet or kind
So why do you ask me to use it
To sing a song of heart?

I hear You call me out
I see my Spirit rise
It sings a healing song
Turning brokenness to light

How can I do this
Drowning in failure's roar
Can I possibly believe
My voice is enough for the call?

When I was barely formed
The calling was a seed
Written in my fibres
To grow a mighty tree

Oh how it was shadowed
Through a seed of doubt
A belief that I was rejected
A lie to which I was devout

Since birth there has been a war
On who I believe I am
Always destined for the tree
Yet thorns grew wild instead

Now it is time to break
So light can touch the place
Where tenderness still rests
On this seed of divine grace

Chasing Beauty

I’m chasing a beauty not defined by time or effort but by the substance I already have within me. This beauty says our worth is a birthright not something earned. This beauty speaks with truth, embraces with empathy, understands with humility and dances to a wave of melody that can’t be seen in this world.

Even when everything else screams at you a definition of beauty that burdens your every cell, weighs down your spirit and shadows your wild.

Who ever said that the majority was right?

The trends are out of beat with the drums of heaven and it seems unnatural at first to dance to the off beat in the majority’s eyes. But that’s the beat that brings freedom. I’m chasing the substance found in the quiet, forged in the fire, confirmed on the mountain.

Be still waves of noisy doubt, thundering from insecure and confused oceans that run so deep. Be still. Because the depth of your pain is healed by His love.

Inward Burn

I give and give, it's a selfish give. It's a give that asks for love in return.
I distort myself like a noble act, while underneath I'm a slow inward burn.

To give is to gain but what gain do I seek? To give and to seek seems a broken pursuit.
To seek a true self first before the outpour, was not an option, or so I was taught.
Yet how can I truly give, without motive to get, when all I seek is oil on my head.

False Identities

When you say no and let go, but it is all you've ever been,
When you've given so much of yourself in that space but the air no longer feels spacious,
You suddenly realise the connections made in that same space, in that place,
Fall away just as quickly as they fused when your thoughts were wrapped in false identities.

My currency was always weaved through threads of expectation,
I give this and you love me, right?
I bend, shrink, squeeze, twist, and you accept me.

The shell, the crust, the skin of exchange is shedding,
And the pain is not as great now as I would have thought,
The sense of a new skin excites me, and takes the edge off,
The wind carries secrets only my ears can hear.

All of the intricacies of today will fade into a new light.

Diamond Emotions

Emotions are like diamonds. They need time to be processed, under pressure, in the secret place. They need time and attention to find their way from dusty, dull rock, to sparkling, light-filled, multi-faceted jewel. The quality of your process will determine the clarity of the sparkly stone that you now hold in your hand like a weapon against the myths of a worthless identity. Oh the insight and the strength that is birthed out of that process.

This fast-paced world of image management, empires of likes and follows; the crazy way this world tends to forget the charming marinade, the slow and steady respect of each season, each moment; our emotions get tangled up in bottles and bombs.

We are a generation of experts in escapism and numbing out. The present is so far from our reach yet is the deepest desire of our hearts -- it dances in front of our eyes like stars we can't count.

We can take back our moment in the present, by enduring the process.

A thorn is not a sign of failure, or even fear. It is a sign that you are alive and moving against the normal. It is a sign that you are capable, and resistance is coming to build you up, strengthen your chances to rise and dance above the waves. The thorn is best treated like a friend, who can usher you forward, and the pain that comes with that, the piercing of our skin against the thorn is a sign that our hard work, our perseverance and our tears, our sweat, our voice is worth the effort. Those scars will tell magnificent stories for generations to come; our skin, a spiritual tapestry of bumps and blemishes that redefine beauty and weave a new kind of narrative in the heavens.

Create Love

Recognition is not always a bouquet of sweet smelling roses. It has its thorns too, and needs to be handled with care. The desire for recognition can be a slippery slop to emptiness and hope deferred. The desire to be fulfilled by people's recognition is like a one way street to a dark place within ourselves, where jealousy and envy, comparison and worthlessness can breed easily within our fibres.

I have the ability to create, to organise, to make, to plan, to give of my time. My home requires all of these skills. Yet everyday I feel sad because I am not being recognised. I am juggling hats, spinning plates, creating a safe place for my children to play, creating joy and love and peace and passion and fire and wholeness, for my home, my tribe. Yet I feel like I am not amounting to much because I lack recognition.

Homes are broken, because people are trying to find that recognition. If we look at what we achieve with each other, relationships, the home, our families, our friends, our children, we are actually creating marvellous, wondrous beauty. But we have been trained to desire recognition, so therefore we think these things are not as worth our time as the career goal, the boss' tick of approval, the Instagram likes and comments.

When all else fades, what will remain?

Perhaps we need to put the cravings for recognition aside. Perhaps we need to open our minds and our hearts, bring things back to basics. Remember the love we hold in our hands every time we pour ourselves into our children. Remember the power we have in those moments. Remember we are creating something words can't even articulate when we love, give, wash their clothes, fill them with wholesome food. Remember the small, mediocre tasks that fill up just one day, and then how that day is on repeat, and the world keeps spinning because we fulfil those small tasks, and keep our babes safe, keep our loved ones warm and filled with joy, with hope.

Our homes can be happier, restored, renewed in the wake of an addiction to recognition gone cold.


Let this also be a gentle reminder to not take loved ones for granted. Tell your family and friends they are doing a good job, give people encouragement even for the small wins. This is a beautiful way to keep our relationships feeling healthy and whole.